I started practicing yoga and meditation when I was 14, became a Hindu monk when I was 16 and have been wholeheartedly devoted to this path for 10 years.
During those years of intense practice of meditation, yoga and service, I gave my whole trust to my Guru. I believed in him, drank eagerly from his wisdom and followed his every word religiously.
After 10 years of trusting someone else, I finally learnt to truly trust myself. I left the Ashram (yoga monastery) when I was 26.
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The patterns and grooves that this practice made within me are deep. Even now, 12 years after leaving the Ashram, sharing this knowledge is my passion and my livelihood.
Being a monk was easy for me. I only needed to focus on one thing at a time, had a lot of time to introspect and to figure out where I stand in this world and, with all of the intensity of the practice, I did not have to carry with me worries about anything.
Well… I’m not a monk anymore. Now I am married to a beautiful and passionate woman, have 4 children, just bought a house, and have a very fast growing yoga business.
Wow! Life is busy. Time to go within is scarce. Being able to do one thing at a time is almost impossible… I’m challenged, to say the least.
I love circus arts, and juggling is something that I like experimenting with.
24/7 life. Juggling is what I do now, trying to make it all flow seamlessly without thinking about it too much.
Here are some yogic principles that I find helpful now as a father when all of the balls are in the air:
1. Values
I always try to maintain my values above everything else. Family life is insane; to remain afloat amidst this storm you need to keep looking up to the moral principles that you are not willing to compromise on.
I always try to maintain my values above everything else. Family life is insane; to remain afloat amidst this storm you need to keep looking up to the moral principles that you are not willing to compromise on.
In our family it is Ahimsa, non-violence. So regardless of what happens, we keep striving to communicate and act in a non-violent way. Starting from what we eat (we and our 4 children are all vegan), all the way to how we treat our toys, plants and, of course, people.
2. Breath
I need lots of this… In my 10 years of being a monk I thought I have conquered anger. Well, no one in the Ashram knew how to get to me as well as my kids.
I need lots of this… In my 10 years of being a monk I thought I have conquered anger. Well, no one in the Ashram knew how to get to me as well as my kids.
Breathing helps me not to be so reactive and implosive. Rather, pause to take a deep breath and respond in a way that is going to create a positive change.
3. Be flexible
We all come to our marriages and our family life with baggage. We have learnt some things about the world before we got together. Some of those things apply to this new situation and some don’t.
We all come to our marriages and our family life with baggage. We have learnt some things about the world before we got together. Some of those things apply to this new situation and some don’t.
A lot of the things that I’ve learned as a monk do not apply very well to family life. Sometimes, the knowledge and tools I acquired in the past handicap me now.
Expectations, which were relevant in the past, whether from myself or others, are simply making me disappointed now.
I find that I need to keep reinventing myself to be happy and make others happy, and most importantly, to not get stuck in patterns and to take things lightly.
4. Trust
Don’t try to control it all; you can’t anyway.
Don’t try to control it all; you can’t anyway.
I try to do my best; I fail sometimes. I impart my knowledge and life experience to my children. Some of it go deep within them to shape them into amazing creative and compassionate people… some other non important details, such as putting your stuff back in place, seems like it will never sink in.
Through all of this, despite minor challenges and setbacks, I trust that they will grow to be beautiful people that will make this world a better place.
5. Keep striving to make yourself a better person
Children learn not so much from words, but from observing our behavior, so being the best person we can helps them be the best they can be.
Children learn not so much from words, but from observing our behavior, so being the best person we can helps them be the best they can be.
Within all of the commotion, confusion, noise and erratic times of the family, I try to remember that I am still my own person and that I have a duty to myself to continue and evolve.
It is easy to get caught in life’s business, and it is important to step back once in a while, retrospect, learn something new, and come back to the family with a renewed attitude and inspiration to give and be truly present.
Gopala Amir Yaffa