How I Found the Deeper Meaning of Yoga
I had been practicing yoga for many years before the birth of my first son. I was used to having all the time in the world for myself—to nourish my body, mind and spirit and cater to my every whim. My time was my own, and I totally took it for granted.
My yoga practice was deeply rooted in asana, with a hint of philosophy and a bit of relaxation. These things took place on my mat in silent spaces. Alone.
Once my baby was born, he was with me all day and night, nursing or cuddling. (The whole birthing experience is another story!) All of a sudden, my world was rocked at its very core. My body was changing, as were my moods.
Once my baby was born, he was with me all day and night, nursing or cuddling. (The whole birthing experience is another story!) All of a sudden, my world was rocked at its very core. My body was changing, as were my moods.
I found it difficult to have my baby on one of those schedules and gravitated more naturally towards what they call “demand feeding “, which is exactly as it sounds. The baby demands, you feed. I was on call 24/7. I had no time for what I thought was yoga. No time to be alone, quiet, serene and on the mat. Not wanting frustration to kick in was what allowed me to be taken beyond and to begin to unravel the deeper truths that yoga philosophy provides.
I began to see yoga asana as a means to an end rather than an end in itself. A doorway to spirit. I began to use my body and breath, in my daily life, with more awareness. I tried to adapt to practicing yoga with my baby by my side, even if he wasn't quiet. I started to value the short times I did have, rather than focus on the time I no longer had. I started to realize that the real yoga was here and now. With this new, changing, out of control experience that was simultaneously unpredictable and beautiful, I learned acceptance and tasted the peace that comes from surrendering to life. I saw it was not just about doing but actually about being. Especially in times when life puts you in a “pose” that is not of your choice.
I faced the challenges in balancing so many things at once, even on a few hours of sleep. I tried to accept whatever came my way with grace and strength. Sometimes I was able to, and sometimes I was not.
As I slowly began to synchronize being a mother and being myself, I came to see more clearly that the real yoga happens off the mat. It happens on the way rather than somewhere you reach at the end.
The mat became a practice place for the real deal—my daily life. Suddenly, the mat became the easy part! Having lost what I thought was yoga was what led me to transcend everything I thought I understood about myself and about life. Slowly, the essence began to reveal itself. Yoga is all about going beyond what we think we know. What we think we understand. It’s about connecting to our spiritual core, where we are all one, and living from there.
As my four children continue to grow, I often find myself having to dig deep to get back on track. My continued studies and practices have allowed me to be able to tap into my spiritual core and that allows me to flow from center, more easily, when I have “lost it” (which I still do sometimes). It allows me to connect with love that lies beyond how we want things, people or life to be. It allows me to remember that beyond everything there is only love. That is the highest truth of all.
As my four children continue to grow, I often find myself having to dig deep to get back on track. My continued studies and practices have allowed me to be able to tap into my spiritual core and that allows me to flow from center, more easily, when I have “lost it” (which I still do sometimes). It allows me to connect with love that lies beyond how we want things, people or life to be. It allows me to remember that beyond everything there is only love. That is the highest truth of all.