I have been wandering in the cemetery lately. Daily visits have been guiding my feet to this space not far from my home. What once felt like an aversion has become a place where I find deep peace. It feels open, spacious and safe. It feels as if there is inspiration and wisdom to be welcomed with each step I take. Today, it served to show me that perhaps I have been called there as a way of knowing that I am ready to let some spaces in me happily die.
I thank my guides and the spirit that holds my hand, that has called me forward and has brought me to this place in time, exactly where I need to be, welcoming all that is ready to leave and all that is ready to BE, without fear, hesitation and doubt. I am ever grateful for the ways in which I have been taught to do that.
I bow to one of my greatest teachers, yoga. I could never have known when I was asked to join a yoga teacher training 13 years ago, that I was being chosen to learn the meaning of living a spiritual life and asked to welcome the message of embracing life as a spiritual journey. Though I know I have been on a spiritual path all of my life, I did not know that I was learning how to make that journey my life.
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Yoga and meditation, (though from here I shall refer to it as yoga) has gifted me with the ability to listen deeply to the language of my soul. It has offered me a way to bring all that I have learned, home to my heart.
To me, being on a spiritual journey means that I am in direct communication with all parts of my life and in relationship to all things. It means that I am here to remember who I arrived in this world to be. Looking back, I know that I have been yearning for this understanding all of my life.
The day I truly began living my life in direct communication with all parts of my life, was the day I stepped up to teach my first yoga class. It was in that instant that I understood that I was on a spiritual journey and no longer needed to search for one outside of myself.
It was on that mat, in the seat as guide and teacher, that I opened my heart and began to understand my mind. It was there that I opened to the call of the divine. The call that taught me to remember what I was born knowing. It was when I began to turn doubt and fear into faith; faith in myself and in life.
It was there that I began to infuse my life with a purposeful practice of being in a relationship with life itself, with all that guides and serves me. I could finally fuel my trust in this spiritual teaching for all of life, serving all relationships and defining what it meant to have a spiritual journey each and every day.
This meant I was now a student of life itself.
Yoga gave me a language to express how I always felt supported, guided and held. It showed me a way to merge what I have experienced and practiced, with an agreement to be a conduit to what wanted to come through me. Finally, there was a way I could truly be of service in this world, trusting that what I could offer could serve a greater good for all.
This journey has offered me lessons that teach me to be the best that I can be for all that my life invites and for all with whom I share this life.
It is where I began to be able to embrace the ideas that would come to set me free. Free from old habits that kept me serving limiting beliefs, free from old versions of myself that were no longer true, free from the past and free to be in joy!
I have learned to understand that my deepest yearnings represent my deepest wounds and that they are mirrors that will reflect the depths of the gifts that I am able to offer.
With yoga, I learned that what I reject in others is a rejection of some part of myself. So I began to welcome each challenge and each trigger as a direct message of where I was being asked to show up more lovingly. It has sparked deep levels of compassion for others and for myself.
This journey has taught me to open to grace and to the holy that is in every moment, every challenge and every new opportunity. It showed me that all parts of my life deserve the same commitment that yoga has asked of me.
This journey has taught me to open to grace and to the holy that is in every moment, every challenge and every new opportunity. It showed me that all parts of my life deserve the same commitment that yoga has asked of me.
With yoga, I deepen my understanding of what it means to be human, and what it is I am called to serve in any given moment.
Yoga asks that I show up, breathe, feel and allow, and when it's time, it asks me to let go. It is that letting go that has called me to the cemetery to remember
I bow to the medicine and magic of living a spiritual journey. I applaud all the beings that are learning to do this in their own way.
I know that this journey can be served regardless of who you are and what your day job is. I also know that each being must find what their own journey is asking of them.
It is not about climbing a mountain, or visiting a temple, or practicing a specific pose. For me, it was through teaching yoga that this journey awakened, but I live this journey when I take a picture, cook a meal for my family, walk in a cemetery, visit with a friend, deepen my relationships or listen to the rain.
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I wish all beings everywhere, the knowing that they are here to serve as their own unique and individual expression of life. I pray all humans can find a way to express that which wants to come through them exclusively. I pray we all open to the vulnerability of living from the place of seeing the spiritual journey in all, so that we may find the love and support that is waiting to carry us.
Let us no longer be tethered to old ways of defining ourselves, in serving what we THINK the world wants us to be. Instead, let us be open to that which can fly freely as an expression of our own truth and beauty in connection to the foundation of transformation, growth and love! May we all remember that which we came here to BE and may we let go of the old definitions and habits that no longer serve our souls.
I am ever grateful to the teachers that have come before me and for the inspiration that continues to come through me, to the guidance that visits me and the lessons that have taught me to welcome my divinely inspired self.
I play the rhythm of my own soul and wish all beings everywhere the courage to join along in the dance of this magical journey that is here to guide us all home to our truth!
My journey continues from here, with a deep desire to understand what each day will ask of me and a deepened commitment to serve!
With spring’s arrival, I offer that we welcome the growth and opportunity of a blessed and beautiful spiritual journey to tend to each and every day.
In humble gratitude for spirit and my highest self for serving all situations and outcomes with love.
Alas, I am home.
Elana Epstein