Before I was even born my grandmother was told that I'd walk to the beat of my own drum. I have always considered this my own greatest gift, yet strongest weakness within the same breath. I've always asked more questions than I’ve found answers, for as I grow older I'm realizing that the more I learn the less I know. The universal knowledge that lies in front of us can never be fully understood in this tiny human mind. With this knowledge, one can only explore and learn more about the perspective and magic we come across in each moment. This is what has led me on what some may call a spiritual path.
Walking through my own mental wonderland, going on my own emotional and devotional roller coaster, growing within my physical and metaphysical bodies, feeling the pains and aches of muscles and focuses that I never knew resided inside. This path has wound through practises of meditation, sitting in silence for periods of 10, 15 and 21 days at a time – truly exploring the wildest depths of my own mind, learning to accept my own self before helping anyone else.
The trail stumbled across the energetic healings of massage, chakras and Reiki. Practising in a spiritual church to heal people's emotional, psychological, as well as physical scarring that this everyday world may pull the body and mind through in trials of identity and truth with self. Always fighting the fine line of fitting in or honouring your true self even when you know it may leave you isolated for months at a time.
I ran through the circuits of yoga, tai chi and qi gong. I lived with a qi gong master, practising washing walls, focusing on the circular flowing motion of the universe. I worked with the energy of the trees and nature in the way of the Chinese masters, feeling the connection with the 5 elements. Yoga connected my mind, body and soul as I watched the sunrise on the beaches of Australia, feeling the suns rays caress and support my soul. Yoga – guiding you into your own breath, understanding that through your own awareness you can heal your own body and mind from all the trials of life, to see the positive energy that flows through you and around you.
This led me to journey from the knowledge of Aboriginal friends and wisdom within my own backyard. Their knowledge gave an appreciation to Gaia and the ever-nurturing love she holds for all our beings, joined in the unity of oneness. The energy flowing through the animal spirits, the gentle nature of the trees and the wind. The rains washing away the pains of yesterday's trials and giving life to tomorrow's fortune and this moment’s miraculous life. In the evening, flowing with the stars that watch over us, always, to give us rest and recuperation in times of hardship.
To Thailand – experiencing religions, culture and heritage. To explore Cambodia and see an historical side of devotion. To trek through Nepal connecting to monks, villages and mountains of magical nature, healing the soul. Walking with just two feet and a heartbeat, feeling the energy of a land so open and pure that unconditional love finds its own meaning and the essence of life is to just be.
The yogic path allowed me to journey into India, feeling the holy city of Varanasi, seeing the light and dark of spiritual gurus. Seeing the greed of money and corruption to devotion, yet seeing the beauty through the open devotion of sharing life. Slowing myself to look inside in an open rawness to my own duality of love and misled desire. Rishikesh called my soul to the north, studying myself and furthering my own yogic practise to pass onto the world, in a form of gratitude and love found resting over the Ganga River nestled into the mountains.
Here I sit writing a piece on what spiritual means to me and a tale of my spiritual rebirth and all I know, and can feel, is that life is only about perspective. Wherever on your own path you are, whether you know the next step or are wandering completely lost in the essence of the wilderness, your own divinity is guiding you home. And, all you must do is surrender to the wind for she will whisper to you in the night, cool you in the day and allow you to know everything is ok. Spirituality to me means the honouring of yourself. For some this may be to drink, for some it's the process of looking for an internal goddess, others may look for a guru to reconnect them to a higher deity, while a man in a suit may be after financial gain. In the end, I feel the key to the lock is to just not to overthink. Allow yourself to be, for in each breath you are truly you and you are truly free if that's what you wish to be.
Caybin Sturgess